Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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