you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
