I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize