What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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