"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
