your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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