I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
