I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
