I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
