i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
