her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
