Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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