God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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