He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
