The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Randomize
