Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
