why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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