coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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