Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
