OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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