I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
