It's like God shit irony all over that family
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
