I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
