david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
