did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
