You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
whose ass print is on the piano?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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