note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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