You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
