seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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