May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
3pm strippers are depressing
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize