So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
