Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
