As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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