Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
