Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
