Its about making memories worth repressing
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
