He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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