We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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