so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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