I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
you made out with another girl for some wings
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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