Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
