I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
