Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
