you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
