it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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