she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
