He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
