Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
