your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
