I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
