I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
