I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
