If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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