Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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