I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize