I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
