they need to just BURY HIM!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
