Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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