Kiss
Puke
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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