She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
