so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
