So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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