god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
