I heard we made out
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
