I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
