A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
