He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
