I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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