yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
