Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
