went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
