IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
