I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
