All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we're making bets on your personal life
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
