He asked to "fluff my boner.."
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
