White coat. Heels.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm sobbing to NWA
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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